Pentecost and the Gifts of Faith, Hope and Love
Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1926-2004), the noted author of the ground-breaking work, On Death and Dying (1969), once wrote in her memoir (The Wheel of Life, 1997), “the only thing I know that truly heals people is unconditional love”.
Pentecost Sunday marks the end of the Easter season in the Church’s liturgical calendar. On Pentecost, Jesus empowers his apostles and disciplines with the Holy Spirit, with the powers and gifts they will need to confront, convert, and comfort the world. In this Sunday’s readings from the Acts, the disciples were able to speak to all present in their own languages, in a manner that made them understand the power of the Holy Spirit perfectly. An intention is best understood perfectly in action, rather than in words. The Apostles must have ministered to the people not just in words, but by their actions. Here again, we are reminded of the great universal theme of the Church, unconditional love.
Dr Kübler-Ross’ model for grief response to a terminal illness and dying encompasses several stages:
(1) Denial: “This is not happening to me – it must be a dream. There must be a mix-up in the report”. (2) Anger: “Why me?”; “Who should be blamed?”; “What have I done wrong in my life?” (3) Bargaining: Bargain with God for a deal, in exchange for more time, exchange for a penitent and reformed life. (4) Depression: Withdrawing, disconnecting from loved ones and grieving the inevitable. (5) Acceptance: Coming to terms and doing what has to be done to prepare for the end.
The denial-anger-bargaining-depression-acceptance model should not be taken dogmatically as some people may skip one or two stages in their grief response. However a less than empathetic recognition of the stages a person is going through, with unintended acts of kindness or comfort to hasten the process, may impede closure and eventual acceptance.
The model also does not just apply to death or dying. We recognize today that it is relevant to the psychodynamics of many other life-changing events. Think of the times we are in denial, become angry, or depressed when we’ve lost our position (at work or in society), were passed up for promotion (possibly to a better person), been rejected in a relationship, or is severely challenged by adversities. A process to confront the truth and realities of the situation, followed by acceptance and healing is often needed before we are able to move on in life.
There is a wonderful aphorism, “To cure sometimes, to relieve often, and to comfort always”. Modern medicine is sometimes obsessed with a cure, even when it is not possible, to the extent that it sometimes abets in denial, and loses sight of the profession’s great vocation in allowing true healing and closure to take place.
The Easter season is a time for joyful reflection that life on earth does not end with death and that each day lived with purpose, insight, empathy and love, is a day lived for the Eternity.
Artwork © ALWS
From Pentecost and the Gifts of Faith, Hope and Love, a reflection first contributed to The Apostle, a newsletter of the Catholic Church of Saints Peter and Paul, Singapore. Pentecost Sunday, 12 June 2011.
(The author would like to thank Fr Anselm Phang, OCD, for his kind invitation and the wonderful opportunity to contribute these series of 8 Easter reflections to The Apostle in 2011).