The mission and life work of the Catholic saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta can be summed up in a few succinct comments after reading her posthumous (‘unauthorized’) autobiography. It is not a book that one can simply put down once you have started.

She started her mission for the poor, the dying and the infirmed, in Calcutta from a sudden divine Inspiration 20 years into her established work as a school principal, teacher and nun.

She worked tirelessly to make it happen, and proceeded in a way that was emphatic and clearly outlined how the vision was to be achieved by the future Missionaries of Charity – religious sisters that would satiate the thirst of Jesus on the cross for souls, by their apostolate to the poor, the infirmed and the dying through the vows of “undivided love in chastity, through freedom in poverty, in total surrender in obedience, in wholehearted and free service to Him in the distressing disguise of the poorest of the poor. (Const 36)”

to quench the infinite thirst of Jesus on the cross for love of souls by the profession of the evangelical counsels and the wholehearted and free service of the poorest of the poor (Constitution, Missionaries of Charity).

She had intense graces and visions during her period of contemplation and reflections as the Inspiration awaited the approvals of the earthly institutions of the Catholic Church. She had great obedience for the authority of those whom she was subject to, believing that through them, the word of God will ultimately convey what she must do.

Once her work was approved, she prepared herself by training in nursing and first aid and experienced servitude by working as a servant in a convent. She lived the poverty, and it was the experience of the other members of her Congregation that they too loved the poverty.

She then experienced a prolong and incredibly agonizing period of spiritual aridity and  isolation from Jesus, in a way that would trouble her intensely as she struggled to maintain her external duties as the leader of her congregation to nourish and feed her flock, and yet being self-critical of her hypocrisy because she herself felt so distant and empty from and of God and Jesus Christ.

She sought help and advice, and spent an incredible amount of her time writing her innermost troubles and thoughts (of which the transcripts made up the bulk of the autobiography).

After nearly 13 years of enduring spiritual aridity (1948-61), she finally received spiritual guidance that consoled her that not only was her mission to the poor to be a physical Calvary; but that hers would be a spiritual Calvary (of being deprived of the closeness of God’s presence) so that she (1) experiences the spiritual and not just the physical deprivation of the poor (2) removed attention to self but remained humble, grounded and focus on the work even as her Mission grew and flourished, and (3) maintained her spiritual hunger for God. In that regard, she received the assurances of her spiritual directors that her experiences were mystical and consistent with the highest levels of faith formation (“the dark night of which all masters of spiritual life know…”).

There was  an insightful “redeeming experiences of her life when she realised that the night of her heart was the special share she had in Jesus passion… ” (Fr Joseph Neuner SJ)  and her spiritual thirst was a clear sign that her God was part of her experience –  again Fr Neuner – ” we cannot long for something that is not intimately close to us; thirst is more than absence of water …”. “The sure sign of God’s hidden presence in this darkness is the thirst for God, the craving for at least a ray of His light, No one can long for God unless God is present in his / her heart.”

She became silent in her later years about her spiritual struggle, and focussed on the mission, and came to accept her spiritual Calvary alongside Jesus and the realisation “that even God can do nothing for someone already full – you have to be completely empty to let Him in to do what He will..”   Interestingly, she also denied herself the need to be self-indulgent – she wrote, declining more spiritual talks and retreats, “our spiritual life must remain simple – so as to be able to understand the minds of our poor”.

She took her spiritual struggles to her death, never revealing once her internal struggles except with her spiritual directors. Her papers, which she asked to be destroyed were preserved, and formed the basis for this book (‘unauthorized’).

There is obviously a lot to reflect upon here – but there is clearly the triumph of the spiritual and physical Calvary of Mother Teresa and the Missionaries of Charity work, and this wonderful book’s revelation and earlier religious articles and documentaries (see references below) have helped me to understand the true obedience and spiritual life of a saint of the 20th century, through the visual and printed media in a way that was not possible in the past.

Mother Teresa, Come Be My Light, The Private Writings of the “Saint of Calcutta”. Doubleday 2007

Mother Teresa’s Charism. Fr Joseph Neuner SJ, & Mother Teresa: Joy in the Night, Albert Huart SJ, in Review for Religious; 479-502: Sept 2001

Mother Teresa, A Film by Ann & Jeanette Petrie. 1986 Petrie Productions, Inc.

Mother Teresa: The Legacy, A Film by Ann & Jeanette Petrie. 2004 Petrie Productions, Inc.